"Are all of our prayers answered? Yes, they are; what people who ask that question
often don't realize is that sometimes the answer to your prayer is no."
-Sister Mary Ignatius

Friday, September 10, 2010

I Like my Kids

Sorry, but I need to vent a bit.  I've heard from two different women within the past week a couple comments that have really been troubling me.

The first was when I'd gone to a medical facility the Friday before school began for routine immunotherapy.  (Allergy shots.)  This is the first time I've ever seen this particular woman, and she was just making small talk while we were both waiting.   The first thing she said to me was, "Are you ready for Tuesday?"  (The upcoming Tuesday would be the first day of school for the public schools in the area.)
I told her that yes, I was.  I didn't elaborate that we home school, or that we'd be beginning our school year on Wednesday, which meant that Tuesday would be our last day of 'summer vacation'.
Then she said, "I'll be waiting for that big yellow bus with bells on!  I can't wait for school to begin - this was such a long summer.  In fact, I took Tuesday off of work so that I can celebrate and enjoy the whole house to myself!  Aren't you glad that the kids are going back to school?"
Hmmm.  Now I had to say something.  So I said with a smile, "Well, we home school, so they aren't going to be leaving the house anytime soon..."  
At this point, she puts her hand up, palm toward me,  lowers her head and says, "You are a much better woman than I!  I could never home school my kids.  They would drive me crazy and I just have to work to keep my sanity."  And she said this matter-of-factly, with a slight smile on her face, and not the least bit upset about it.
I sat there for the split-second before they called her name thinking, How utterly sad.  
She got up, we quickly said polite good-byes and she was gone.
I really felt a sadness for her (and her children) while I was left waiting there.  This woman doesn't want to spend time with her own children.  And its been bothering me for an entire week.



Then another dear lady and I were talking several days ago, and I told her that I had run to a neighboring town to purchase bookcases for our school room/dining room.  She was saying how great it was that I got out alone because, "no one should have to be with their kids 24 hours a day."   Excuse me?  Like this is a punishment.
I said, "Well, you know that we really aren't together every minute of every day...." trying to lighten it up a bit.
She said, "But no one should have to be stuck with their kids every day, all day."

Now just wait a minute.  'Stuck'?  I'm not 'stuck' with my kids.  I choose to spend my time with my kids.  Yes, it's great when Hubby and I get the rare opportunity to go out for a date: dinner, movie, etc.  We really appreciate those occasions!  
But I'm not STUCK with my kids.  I like my kids.  A lot!  And I like spending my time with them.   Sure, I'll send the kids outside to play when I get tired of the non-stop commotion.  But they often do their own things: they go off on their own to read a book, they write to pen-pals or they do an awful lot of drawing, they climb trees or make forts in the woods,  and they even play at the neighbor's house.

No matter how dear this lady is to me, I really take offense when it is portrayed that I am having to spend time with my family against my will, like its a less-than desired way to live.  She knows me.  She knows how I feel about my kids.

I enjoy spending my days alongside my children.  In fact, I thank God daily for allowing me to spend my days with my family, and for the blessing of a hard-working husband who allows me to be 'stuck with the kids' on a daily basis.

I wanted to shout to her and anyone who cared to listen,  "I like my kids and I like being with them!!"
I just politely answered her with, "I'm not stuck with the kids.  You know that I really like having them home with me."
And she said, "Well, you know what I mean," and promptly changed the subject.

4 comments:

  1. Remember this second woman's response to my pregnancy???

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  2. uh-hum. Something on the order of:
    "Don't ruin your life like your mom and dad did, having all those kids...."
    Right? Geesh.

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  3. I happened to see your comment on Maggie's blog, and I always have to check out a fellow Minnesota blogger. I am amazed at the number of parents who "can't wait" for their kids to be gone all day. At a meeting at church Tuesday night a friend commented that she was glad her 2nd grader wanted to take the school bus in the mornings, even though it's over an hour ride. She "just loves" not having kids in the mornings. Aaargh!

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  4. Hi Paula, and welcome to my blog!

    Isn't that just heart-breaking? I feel so sad for that little 2nd grader... and everyone else who has a mother feeling that way. :-(

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