It's almost time....

Oh joy...                                                                                                         

 

the registration form came today for the 13th Annual MN Catholic Home Education conference and Curriculum Fair!    

Check out all the details here,  and I'll see you there!!!    

Wordless Wednesday

 

Missing Her

I'd known Elaine for almost 33 years.        

In fact, we met when Craig and I went on our very first date.  I was 16 years old, and we were going to the movies in a near-by city.  It was raining, and the wiper arm broke before we were out of our little town.   Without  more than a word, Craig turned around, drove up the driveway, and right into the garage at his parents' house.  Before I knew it, there stood Craig's brother, dad and mom - all peering into the window of Craig's car at me, while Craig was replacing the wiper blade.  I was so nervous... I wanted to just crawl under the seat and stay there!   One look at Craig's mom and I knew it'd be alright - she had such a nice cheerful smile, and her eyes just sparkled as she said, "Hi.  I'm Elaine, Craig's mom." 

Elaine and I would butt heads several times those early years, and we actually locked horns a time or two over the years, but everything would work out, and I can honestly tell you that my mother-in-law was one of my closest, dearest friends.  I will miss her tremendously.        

When someone was greeted by Elaine, she would smile, her eyes sparkling, and maybe give a little giggle, then she'd flop her arms out - palms up, hands hanging down from the wrists - to give you a hug.

Her laugh was nothing if not unique.  She laughed this silly little laugh, her breath getting caught up on itself,  almost choking on itself, and it'd make you laugh just a bit more as you enjoyed her laugh.  

Her grandkids were the joy of her life.  She was so proud of each one.  In fact, she said that she truly felt alive once she became a grandmother.  It didn't matter if it was toilet-training, learning to read, shooting their first deer (she hated venison!),  making the dean's list, graduating from college, getting married, giving her a great-grandchild, or passing the bar exam, she was equally proud of each and every grandchild's accomplishment.  And she told all her friends about every one of them.  She would often say, "Oh just wait until you have grandkids, Lori.  There is nothing like it!"

Elaine felt great joy when she played her organ.  She didn't concern herself whether or not her neighborhood wanted to hear her music, she just played her favorite songs with great abandon:  How Great Thou Art.  Amazing Grace.  In the Garden.  Too many others to recall.  All were a source of happiness for her.  For birthday celebrations, everyone had to sing "Happy Birthday" pretty much for all they were worth in order to hear their own voice over the organ accompaniment.

The cancer came back  before Christmas, we believe.  She just knew something was seriously wrong. She had that ominous feeling.  With her growing health issues, she felt more or less confined to her home, and life was getting pretty lonely for her.

In January, the CT scan showed that yes, the cancer had grown.  She was determined to beat it again, and agreed to have the lymph nodes biopsied to be certain of how to treat the cancer.  The newly-introduced chemotherapy pills would not be the answer because her stomach was just too touchy to go this route.   So she was to wait another month.

In the meantime, the cancer began its accelerated downward spiral, and choked off the ureter from the kidney to the bladder.  (Yes, only one kidney remained from another cancer scare three years ago.)  The beginning of renal failure went undetected for a few weeks.  She was admitted to the hospital on March 1st.  By the time the diagnosis was made, a lot of damage was done.  Too much damage, and she had to face dialysis.  It was detected that the gall bladder was suffering.  And the liver was damaged, if not invaded with cancerous tumors.  We wouldn't be sure as the dye used for the CT scans would further damage her organs.

 She was finally convinced that God was telling her that it was time to go Home.  Too many organs were affected to battle it all.  She was getting weaker and feeling more tired with each passing day, and realized that she'd never be going back to her home.

 She was going to see Harvey, the love of her life, whom she hadn't seen in almost two years.  She missed him just as much now if not more than following his death.  The winters seemed colder and longer with each passing year without him.               

 On March 9th, dialysis was stopped and Elaine was moved from the oncology floor to hospice.   

Her room was filled with floral arrangements from friends and family.  There were cards and well-wishes, hand drawn pictures from her grandkids and great-grandchildren and photos taped onto the walls, "thinking of you" balloons were tucked here and there...   and one could truly feel peace and grace as they walked into that room.  In separate incidents, two RNs told me that they enjoyed going into Elaine's room, not only because of the beauty we had filled it with, but because even knowing she was dying, she was always smiling and would tell them, "I am so lucky.  I've been blessed with a great family."                       

Elaine died peacefully just before 9pm on March 11, 2011.  Her family was with her.  We hold fast to the peace and grace she showed us as she entered Eternal Life, but we're going to miss her tremendously.  

All the above photos of flowers were ones I'd taken of the many bouquets and arrangements at Elaine's funeral.

                                              

 

Ash Wednesday

"Even the darkest moments of the liturgy are filled with joy, and Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Lenten fast, is a day of happiness, a Christian feast. It cannot be otherwise, as it forms part of the great Easter cycle ... 
 

We must remember the original meaning of Lent, as the ver sacrum, the Church's "holy spring" in which the catechumens were prepared for their baptism, and public penitents were made ready by penance for their restoration to the sacramental life in a communion with the rest of the Church. 

Lent is then not a season of punishment so much as one of healing." ~ Thomas Merton

"Simply do Little Things With Great Love"

I would like to share a quote from Tracy's post today.  She is a dear, like-minded friend:

"I feel the need to focus on being grateful and appreciative this Lent and suspect this would be a little but powerful gift I could give the Lord and one that He would greatly appreciate from me."  

Actually, it appears that Tracy and I have been thinking very similar thoughts as far as focusing on being more grateful this Lent.  Particularly concerning our vocation as Catholic wife and mother.

I have been pulled in many directions lately.  As I already fully knew, staying at home is a full time job.  But when exterior forces thrust a few minor changes in one's lap, ordinarily little things can become utterly exhausting.  

Hubby Craig's mother is ill, so he has willingly (and as cheerfully as possible) been spending many hours fulfilling his obligations as her son.  When the daily routine at home is out of whack, even the ordinary, little things can seem enormous at times.  Children miss their regular routine, we're all feeling somewhat drained, and it has been very difficult for me to focus on my plans for Lent.   But I've successfully been able to push every non-essential thing out of the way for a little while, and this is what I've come up with for myself. 

After going over my options, and realizing how tired I am going into Lent, I've decided to really simplify my plans this year.  I will read Holiness for Housewives by Dom Hubert van Zeller, and use this for the backbone of my Lenten journey.   Van Zeller is a great spiritual director.  Through this book he helps us to see how we might offer the busyness of the day as a prayer in and of itself, placing value on one's personal relationship with God and on mothering, emphasizing that housework and childcare can be a path to holiness, enlightening us to the fact that finding the spiritual and the sacredness in our everyday tasks can make us Saints.   The book itself is a very short, easy read.  Only 60-ish pages!   I read it a few years ago.... straight through.  But for Lent this year, I will read only one small section, approximately one to two pages each weekday - and meditate on it, journal my thoughts on it, and see where the Holy Spirit takes me through it.  It is perfect for a busy Mama in a busy household.  In other words, it is very do-able!  

I find that if I decide to do a SIMPLE read/study, I tend to stick with it, and get much more out of it in the long run - especially with small children at home, going into this as a tired  homeschooling mama and now with an ill mother-in-law for whom to have extra concern.  I think I will be able to focus better with a simple plan.  Otherwise I tend to resent the self-imposed read, probably because I do not have the energy to put into it.  And ultimately I do not benefit from it as was my intent at the beginning!   Someday, when this house has a more quiet mood to it, I hope to be able to do more in-depth Lenten practices as in the past.  

I feel that the best way for me to journey through this Lent is to "Simply do little things with great love." (Mother Teresa)

Wordless Wednesday